Improving Communication Part 2
By Jack Landry
Some say that if communication was perfected there would be no war. Whether or not this is true, good communication can prevent arguments and improve the success rate of marriages.
There are many ways you can improve the way you communicate with your partner. As you improve your communication both you and your spouse will be happier.
The first thing you should do is examine and analyze how you communicate. This analysis can be very insightful to your own personality.
Through your analysis you will find a few things that you will be able to improve on your own. Recognizing what you can improve is the most important part of communicating because you cannot change what you do not know is a problem.
Then think of ways to improve your communication. Practice your new methods in a social setting.
One thing to think about is when it is appropriate to change the subject. There are several indications that it is time to move on to a new topic.
These indications include a glazed look in the eye of those you are trying to communicate with, when there is nothing new to say about a particular topic, or when people start to fidget or act bored.
Another thing to think about is how many questions you ask throughout a conversation. In a real conversation you should do some of the answering.
Some people ask so many questions that it feels like an interrogation. Under these circumstances people become defensive and uneasy.
When this happens the conversation is all of a sudden open to argument and hard feelings. These are exactly the kind of feelings that you want to avoid at all costs in a conversation.
Asking too many questions is also considered impolite because you are dominating the conversation. Conversation is an art of giving and receiving information, not only giving or not only receiving.
People often begin to feel unimportant and unappreciated if the people they are talking to look bored and uninterested. As a result they will stop talking and you could miss out on a lot of valuable information.
It is vital that you look engaged and interested in a conversation. This simple act can do wonders to improve a friendship.
Thinking about your posture and whether it is friendly will also improve the conversation. Closed postures with folded arms and leaning away are strong indications that you would rather leave than talk to them.
Eye contact is also very important indication or whether or not you are interested in what they have to say. Insert appropriate agreements, nods, and questions to let them know that you are listening.
It is also an art to be able to keep a conversation going. The best way to do this is through asking open ended question.
Open ended questions are those that do not allow a simple yes or no answer. They require an explanation or story that will fuel more questions.
Most of the people who are considered to be good conversationalists do little of the actual talking themselves. They get others to talk instead.
Occasionally it can be very difficult to think of questions to ask, especially when you know someone really well. It is important in these cases to keep an updated repertoire of interesting things to say.
This is easier than many people think. Simply be aware of current fads, occurrences, and trivia about the world around you.
Often a recent personal experience will jumpstart a conversation as the other person will reply with a variety of questions or a similar experience. Knowing exactly what will be of interest to other people will take some practice, but it will be worth it.
Good communication includes more than simple speaking skills. It also includes your ability to write.
As you practice writing you will be able to improve the way you speak. When you write you have more time to think about what you communicate than when you speak.
As a result, you will speak how your write. Writing skills are also very important to developing good communication.
In regards to communication, practice does make perfect. As you think about how to improve your communication and you practice, you will see great improvements in your social life and your marriage.
About The Author
Jack R. Landry has worked as a marriage counselor since the 80s. He has been married to his wife, Judy, for the past 33 years but he recognizes that everyone needs help to save your marriage.
Contact Info:
Jack R. Landry
JackRLandry@gmail.com
http://www.survive-divorce.com
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